Sunday, January 01, 2006

Judaic Frustrations...

OK, so I'm not Jewish. And I cannot convert because I happen to not believe in God and also find organized religion to be one of the most shameful and evil things in the world. But hey. Besides that, I think that Judaism is cool and have since I read Exodus at 12, living in the California mountains, where I had never seen or heard of a jew. At that exalted, 12 year old moment, I clutched the paperback to my breast and sighed "I wish I was Jewish." So here I am 32 years later, mad as a hornet, and not just because I've spent a day and a half searching for a hammer that I put down somewhere while hanging something. No. I'm mad because nobody will tell me what the damn letters on the damn dreidel look like. I'm hopping mad. I have just spent about 1/2 hour on the internet, looking for instructions. You know, if you type in "instructions for draidel game" you get a bunch of wackos? Then, if you realize that it might be a good idea to spell it right, you get some lovely sites. Really nice, helpful ones. Like askmoses.com. I kid you not. It's a great idea though. You can ask questions about Judaism and other people can answer them. Very nice. They do give the instructions for playing the game, btw. Yes, yes, and the letters are an abbreviation for "a great ... ummm. what is it again?...miracle happened there" (I think.) Great. So then if one of the letters comes up you get half of the pot (OK), and if Gimel (choose your spelling, btw) comes up, you get everything. Lovely. Nice. Very helpful. Which squidget is the Gimel, please? No answer. Nobody will tell me. I ask the one *real* Jew in the house, my husband, who was raised by socialists in the Bronx. He's got no idea. For this I made latkes last night? Sheesh. No help at all. I keep looking on the internet. ehow.com has some nice instructions. Lovely. What do the damn letters look like? Hooray! I found them! Here is a definition of the Chanukah letters! OK. Now all I have to do is find my &*()(*&) screwdriver, so I can put the AA batteries into the electrical dreidel launcher so that my kid and husband can buy dueling dreidels. Luckily, I do know where the geld is. And, of course, the chardonnay. Is that mentioned anywhere?

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