Blogger blues

I haven't been posting in this blog much. Instead, I've been busy on a mom's club information project, have been doing a lot of hands-on raising of my child, finishing up a pass on the house (sigh), and working on my website. I have thought about posting, but to tell the truth, I'm not sure that I want to. You see, I stupidly connected this to my website, and then people met me, so now people know who "I" am, and there's really no way that I see any need to write about private issues to people with whom I wouldn't TALK about them with. Maybe it's all of the years as a professional writer? I'm used to hiding behind the words, behind the product. The blogger revolution is so ... naked? narcissistic? I don't know. I always was struck by how many American teenage males loved to go out and get really drunk or stoned. It seemed to me that this bunch of 15 to 22 year olds was one of the most emotionally repressed group around, and I always noticed them giggling, clutching one another, or behaving in otherwise drunk or stoned ways and thought "booze and drugs have given them permission to let it all hang out." Well, that's how blogging feels to me. Except that I'm now in my forties and privacy is important to us. Ironic. I even went so far as to set up a new blog. I set it up on some site, not blogger, I think, and I named it ... something. (sigh). Ah, for a brain. It's been a few weeks (month?) and I can't even remember the name of the new site, so I guess it's not compelling. I think that the issue is several-fold. First off, I am used to, and happy with someone giving me money to write. If they don't, I write journals, and they are mine. I used to write my journals in Danish, for heaven's sake, so that nobody (certainly in this country!) could read them, but they have always been mine. I don't share them, I don't publish them. If you have known me for years, this probably surprises you because I'm fairly outgoing. And I am. But there are untoward depths in the human psyche, and now that I have a relationship with my readers, well... I'll have to think about it. In case you haven't figured it out, I have decided to "write through" the issue, and we'll see what happens.